Modern Warfare: Middle Earth
by Might-Of-The-Muffin
Summary: Ocean Angelo, Sebastian Scorpia and Applepip Conka have all just moved to the Capital of Mordor, Doom City - which is also Dusk Moonlightio's hometown. When they all meet whilst camping on Mount Doom, they are instantly drawn together. The four travel around a modern-day Middle Earth, going on great adventures and overcoming challenges. Secrets are Discovered and Romances Bloom.
1. Ocean Spray

_**Chapter 1: Ocean Spray**_

"Wake up, Ocean Darling" called Mum.

"Urggg" I groaned as I rolled out of my silk covered bed.

My carpet was made from silk and was purple like a wine. My wall paper was made from perfect leaves from the most Asian gold tree place in Gladreiel. My bed was all gold as well (like not just the bits that you see but like you cut it in half – which you wouldn't because it was really expensive and from the ocean – it would not be empty inside it would be all the way through gold not kind of empty like your head like your head – ha! Geddit Dilbo?).

Wobbling gracefully, I opened the door to my en-suite bathroom. My hands were clenched onto the porcelain sink as I stared at myself in the glistening mirror whilst the shiny gold of the sink glowed against my skin like one massive buttercup. The gold glistened against my eyelash brush that I had to use every morning because my eyelashes got tangled due to how long, dark, curly and thick and noir they were. I took in my morning face: my impeachable bronze skin fell like a perfect snow over my sharp features. My nose was thin and pointed and my face was a perfect oval. My lips were rose pink and naturally pouted – perfectly kissable and luscious. My eyes were ocean blue (hence my name) and seductive – matched with thin, arched eyebrows.

I swam a brush through my long, straight, golden hair that reached my mid-back – it too sparkled against the sink.

I brushed my straight, vanilla ice-cream teeth softly before I jumped into the shower to wash myself. I caught a glimpse of my body against a mirror: I was extremely tall and thin (I am 5'11 and weigh 108 pounds) but my boobs were large and round (cup size E). I had an extreme hour-glass figure due to my waist had a smaller circumference than my head by my hips and boobs being large. I had a shadow of a 2-pack due to my vigorously athletic nature – my body did show my athleticism.

After I was done with my shower, I threw on a random ensemble: A green tank top with a white shrug on top paired with a floaty white skirt and green flats. I then dried my hair then brushed it again, slotting in a black Alice-band.

I trotted down the stairs and into the kitchen – making steps so light my family jumped as I called 'morning!' to them.

My mother served me a plate of pancakes.

"Looking forward for the move, Dear" She chirped as she used her magical staff to pull my chair out for me.

"Where's Dad" I inquired as I grabbed a fork.

"Helping load the moving vans" She explained before going to tape and label up some more boxes.

I sighed. I didn't want to move to the shabby country of Mordor. They were all so strict and uptight there – not at all as free as Rivendell. At least I was still going to live in a city – the capital no less!

"Come on, Dear. You'll be going off the university soon. You won't have to stay for long" Mum soothed.

"But what about my friends? What about Taika, Karam, Damon, Charis, Shi and Isaac and Bob?" I questioned.

"You'll make new friends" Mum replied, becoming irritated.

I ate the rest of my pancakes in silence. They were good.

After breakfast, I quickly packed the rest of my things into boxes. I took one final scan of the room that I had grown up in. The room that I loved.

My family piled into the car and I looked back at our house. It was a large, traditional cottage with 30 rooms. The cobblestoned path that led to the aqua door was a rainbow of brown and grey rocks…

The car pulled away before I got to describe the window shutters.


	2. Dusk Bowl Dance

_**Chapter 2: Dusk Bowl Dance**_

I sat slumped on the small bus seat. _Suicide Silence _blasted into my ears '_make sure you take the time… to put them down on their knees…'_

"Dusk…" Bella said softly, trying to coax me into telling.

I ignored her. The rain splattered the window like the brains of somebody shot in the head, some seeped into my cuts

…The shattered bottle rained splintered razors onto my face and into my eyes, making me cry tears of blood because they cut my amber eyes…

My pitch cyan hair with alluring highlights of crimson and scarlet and silver shone with the power of the Moonlight through the grimy bus windows. Glass tinkled aimlessly through my silken waves, carried by rivers of blood down my porcelain face.

I had a strong, square jaw that did cast dark, dancing shadows onto my elf-like shoulders. My wide amber eyes glistened with buried pain, windows to my tortured soul. My nose was long and straight. My rosebud lips hung in a crooked smile, despite the screams of fiery life-blood essence cascading across my bent, broken nose. _She_ cannot fall the way I have!1!

The bus rattled along loudly – my woozy slid in every direction around the bus. I stood up. Violently swaying, I delicately expelled the none-existent contents of my starved stomach. I saw two Bella's, four pale white hands grasping around my neck as I wretched.

A band of dark angels floated gently towards my eyes as I drowned in an ocean of pain…

My orangey-yellow eyes fluttered open and gazed into bottomless azure depths, framed by thick noir eyelashes. His long, spikey black hair with forest green stripes lay against my cheek, overwhelming my senses with the smell of rusty razorblades.

His side-fringe was bob-cut, simultaneously blending with a dozen razor-cut layers.

A single ginger feline ear poked through the hurricane of goddamn awesome hair. The other one was chopped off crudely at the base. A long orange tale wave behind him.

I felt warm, plump lips against my own. Instinctively, I kissed them hard and passionately, my tongue charging through my own lips and into the mouth of this gift from Sauron.

The boy's eyes shot open and he sat up instantly, his cheeks painted the colour of blood.

"Oh thank you!" cried Bella, hugging me intensely.

"W-what happened?" I gasped, due to her embrace.

The mystery boy spoke up, "You passed out due to blood loss. But don't worry, I breathed some life back into you – I'm a wizard who specialises in healing"

"That must come in useful for you! emo cutter!,!" Some stupd chavvy prep called out.

"He just saved my brother's life!" Screamed Bella, as she twisted the guy's arm until the bone snapped.

The bus became silent and still.

"You kids get off my bus this instant!" squeled the driver.

As we pile off, Bella exclaims, "How will we get Dusk to the hospital now?"

"Well I live near here" My savour answers.

"I swear, you just keep saving us! What is yourname?" Asks Bella enthusiastically.

"I'm Hail. Hail Riskos" The boy points to himself. "And that is Hang Chariote and Demon Tornet"  
"Bella and DuskMoonlightio" I said, referencing Bella and I.

"Careful around this neighbourhood" Hang warned.

"Alcoholic Orcs are less pleasant than the war-hungry ones!" Exclaimed Demon.

The road turned upside-down. My head swims in an uncontrollable ecstasy. I fall into Hail's arms, his face looking donwn on me with concern.

"I'm going to have to carry him!" He shouted. And I

My legs were swept up from beneath me, my last sight being Hail. And the starts...


	3. Seb or Alive

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you cannot read French, you will need to use Google Translate to read the dialogue. The dialogue in this chapter is vital to the plot line that will be in the next chapter (SPOILER: When the three characters that we have met: Ocean, Dusk and Sebastian, meet the fourth and final main character, Applepip and finally they all become friends. Also, the spark which causes Middle-Earth to be in a grave and dangerous crisis that not even a history book can help with occurs). Please, open Google Translate now and just copy and paste the dialogue you can't understand. Thank you :)

**_Chapter 3: Seb or Alive_**

I stepped languidly out of my eagle-pulled limousine. I slammed the door shut, my bubbling anger erupting beneath my unreadable expression, the only giveaway being my virulent, intense, blaring violet eyes. My feet stamped silently up the diamond inlaid staircase, up to the new, wooden front door. Suddenly, a small, disgusting being leapt through my door, colliding against my broad, majestic, Dwarf-like chest; the brick wall that was my body was bulldozed down by the revolting creature.

"Hehehe! Fluffy stuff!" The creature cackled deviously in a squeaky, ear-piercing voice.

I almost let out a manly grunt from the tangible pain that exploded in my indestructible skull. My head became ice-cold and the slimy robber shot through the door giggling menacingly.

Whilst my body shook from the shock, I tried to stand. My nails scrapped the door as I pulled myself back up to my full height.

"C'est Acajou!" Screamed Maid Witless pointing to the rolls of scrapped up wood on the floor.

I grumbled back in French, still disorientated from the impact.

She screamed in horror yet again when she saw my bald head.

"C'est ce que vous obtenez pour avoir les cheveux incroyable!" she said tugging on her dish-water blonde hair.

I put a hand to my head, rather than feeling my soft, chocolate brown hair, I felt my raw scalp. Only a small tuft of hair was left. I pulled my hand down. A sticky red substance covered it.

"Sacre Bleu!" burst through my lips.

"Nous devons vous emmener à la maître d'hôtel!" She squeaked.

"S'il le faut." I majestically sighed back.

She grabbed my coarse callused hand with her stubby one. Then she roughly tried to drag me along, but I stood like an immoveable boulder.

Butler Monshar focused his staff on my wounded head (but it wasn't that bad). I could not see him through the waterfall of blood that impaled my face, but I didn't make a sound because I am really strong and crying is weak.

The magic tingled and my head glowed blue like a majestic phoenix rising from the ashes.

"Maintenant, nous devons déblayer le sang" Monshar whispered seductively.

"Si vous continuez à flirter avec moi, je vais devoir obtenir père de te virer." I threw back at him. Sebastian Edward Scorpia is _not _gay.

"Allons-nous changer le sujet de conversation?" He cautiously replied.

As I focused on him with my furious, violent violet eyes, I saw him getting lost. He stopped vigorously scrubbing the blood that was beginning to cake on my face away. Rather, he started to gently pat it, taking care not to scratch my smooth, diamond-like skin.

"Dépêchez-vous vous!" I growled angrily at him, taking care not turn him on in anyway.

He complied quickly. His powerful rubbing of the cloth would have torn to pieces the face of any normal person, but I am as indestructible and dangerous as a hoard of irritated, hungry zombies.

"Made d'amis?" He asked me, being desperate to encase my anger with small talk.

"S'il vous plaît, tout le monde ici est soit un Mordor-nationaliste qui déteste les étrangers ou ne vaut pas mon temps!" I laughed. No country is as powerful and mighty as Góndârè (Gondor). Mordor is pathetic! Defeated by a pair of idiotic, gay hobbits!

He rolled his eyes, so I slapped him so hard he flew across the floor.

"Eh bien, pour célébrer le 1000e anniversaire depuis la chute de Sauron, ils ont invité le magicien Gandalf pour libérer des feux d'artifice au large de la pointe de la Montagne du Destin. Toutes les adolescents seront là aussi. Tu devrais aller et de rencontrer certains des habitants! "

I thought about his proposal for a few moments. "Quand cet événement se déroule?" I inquired.

"Demain soir! Ne savez-vous pas votre histoire, gentil garçon?"

I scowled at him.

"Désolé, vous êtes tellement chaud, je ne peux pas m'empêcher parfois."

I kicked him in the chest, he lay gasping on the floor.

I put one foot firmly on his face. In French, I ordered him manly to get on with his job and grow my hair back.

Shaking like a cold kitten, he stood up and grabbed his staff. Muttering incantations, I saw the crystal at the end glow gold then fade.

Monshar screamed then clutched his face with his hands. It seemed that he was shielding his eyes.

I asked what was wrong in French, but I didn't show the man any sympathy at all doing so.

"Regardez dans le miroir" He whispered, reeling in what appeared to me agonising pain. I laughed at his child-like weakness before I gazed into the mirror that hung on the wall.

My thick hair had indeed grown back, but rather than being a deep-brown colour, it was a blinding silver colour – only one oak-tree brown streak was left. My manly, purple eyes widened in shock and my wide lips parted slightly. My square jaw lowered with my lips and my straight, long nose was my only facial feature to remain the same. Luckily, my eyebrows remained brown so I didn't look like a complete idiot and I didn't have eyelashes because those are too feminine.

"Dites-moi, vous pouvez résoudre ce problème!" I gasped.

"Je suis aveugle, je ne peux plus voir ton beau visage!" He cried.

I locked the door behind me. I was going to make his world even more noir then it was already…


	4. Applepip Season

AUTHORS NOTE: Please check the Authors Note above Chapter Three to find instructions on translating the French dialogue. You'll find out soon enough why it wasn't in English. Also, eeek! Final introduction paragraph :D

_**Chapter 4: Applepip Season**_

I was at perfect peace. The tractor roared beneath me as I did the ploughing. This work kept me alive; my family alive. The scene was beautiful. Acres and acres of golden wheat shimmered and danced in unison under the mighty sun. The sky was a pure light blue which shielded the world with light. Wispy white clouds gently floated by like row-boats on a calm lake in summer. Along the horizon, the great and majestic Mount Doom towered over the land like a brave, loyal, watchful guardian. At the foot of the mountain, I could faintly make out the grand mansion which belonged to the aristocratic Scorpia family. Apparently, the heir to their glorious fortune, Sebastian, was extremely…debonair as they say in Gondor…

"Cum at me, bro; am I not hot too?" Shouted a familiar voice playfully to me as the owner of it bounded over the hills. It was Geddit. Good, old, very old, Geddit Bilbo.

Where did Geddit cum from, actually? He should be all the way back in The Shire, not in Mordor! A hobbit his age would never be able to manage the journey. That doesn't make any sense!

"None of this does! You're too young for your own good. Or my own good if you think about it!" He laughed, staring into the distance as if he was talking to someone not there.

"What are you doing here, Geddit?" I asked him.

"I missed you, Applepip! I missed your delicious golden apples! My Bag End just isn't the same anymore!" He frowned.

"I miss my hobbit-hole." I sighed. Yeah it was cramped because of my ten siblings. Grandmother and Father, but it was warm, cosy and home.

"I miss your hole too…" He sighed.

We stood silent for a few seconds. I breathed in the air of my farm. It didn't smell of The Shire…

Suddenly, the wheat rustled, a silver head was bobbing along. A tall, scrawny old man with a long silver beard and flowing purple-wurple robes spangled with shiny yellow stars popped up from the field, right between me and Geddit.

"Geddit!" the man cried happily.

No… It couldn't be… Gandalf?

"Don't be silly, Applepip! It's Dumbledore! He usually cums through the back – never a normal entrance, I say!" Chirped Geddit to me humorously, almost giggling at my brief stupidity and judgement.

My ears inexplicitly pricked up. The air became damp and still. Was it…Gun Powder?

A shot fired. It seemed to have come from the house. I could already sense that the gun had been reloaded.

I screamed for Geddit and Dumbledore to get to the ground before their heads were blown off. Hoping they had heard me, I quickly dived in amongst the wheat. He would kill me. He would kill me. He would kill me.

I heard another shot. Looking up, I saw Geddit and Dumbledore still standing in the field. Since Geddit was a hobbit, he was too short to be seen by my father – he barely made it past three feet tall. However, Dumbledore would have easily stood out due to his height. He was the target!

Dumbledore quickly turned to Geddit and clutched his chest. Two equally sized growths seemed to form near-instantly.

"You dirty bas-"I heard Geddit shout in shock. But before he could finish what he had to say, He, and Dumbledore, disappeared into thin air. Instead, the bullet hit the tractor.

I yelped in shock. What were we going to do? How were we going to make money? Were we going to starve? The wheat field is the only think which kept the family alive, what could we do?

In the midst of my questions, I felt my hand get hand get crushed by a powerful force.

"You dirty hybrid idiot!" Slurred my father is rage as the fuel leaked out of the tractor and onto the floor.

I wept apologies to him, but any hope of mercy would be futile when he was drunk. I begged him to spare me this time, spare my siblings: Appleheap, Ducky, Chickens, Carrots, Onions, Rhubarb, Cowbell, Lawn, Farm and Sheepshearer.

He grabbed me by my flaming hair and threw me to the tractor, forcing me to swallow the fuel.

I puked right as he let me go. I was swimming in burning agony; my eyes watered so much I was blinded by tears and my throat became deadly raw. I was dying. My world was turning black.

…

I woke up on the hard ground to the sound of heavy sobbing. The harsh smell of puke invaded my nostrils, causing me to gag.

On the floor in a heap, I saw my father crying heavily, slowly rocking back and forth. I tried to ask him if he was okay, but my throat was cut up so much I almost passed out again due to the pain.

"Just…go. Go sell the harvest at the celebration. It's the only way" He whispered, now sober.

I tried to reach out again, but he screamed at me to leave, so I complied before he truly did kill me.

I ran through the fields to our small wooden shack to get the product and crates.

I slammed the back door to the kitchen shut behind me, taking care to look at the time. 3 'O clock, good, I still had time.

My grandmother screamed when she saw me then heavily sighed.

"What happened?" She asked, grabbing the wash cloth from the worktop.

"Dad got drunk and shot the tractor after he saw Geddit Bilbo and this wizard called Dumbledore in the field" I replied

She started to wash my wounds. "So how did you end up like this then?" She inquired in a concerned voice.

I winched from the slight sting. "Dad slammed me against the tractor and made me drink the leaking fuel. I puked and passed out." Talking was agony.

"I've got a potion for your throat darling, you sound awful" She softly said to me, reaching into the cupboards.

She handed me a vial of a thick noir liquid. I quickly uncorked the top and forced it down my burning throat. Instantly, the pain subsided and my throat cleared. The flames in my stomach calmed and my vision became unnaturally clear for one second, and then dimmed down to my usual sight abilities.

I hugged my Grandmother and sobbed.

"I have to sell our harvest at the celebration tonight. If I don't sell enough, we won't be able to afford a new tractor"

"Why don't you sell my potions then? They will make you a few hundred Middlés a dozen."

I whispered a thank-you before heading upstairs to change clothes. I threw on a butter-cup yellow plaid dress which went down to my knees with small puffy sleeves with a green velvet waistcoat on top and brown flats. I plaited my curly red hair then laced wild flowers into it. My make-up was minimal: rose-pink lipstick, pink blusher and mascara. I evaluated myself in the mirror: I was tiny. I stood at only 4 and half feet tall (my hobbit ancestry" with sharp pointed ears (my elven side). My eyes were large; round green saucers and all of me features were soft. I had a small button nose and my lips were tiny and cute. I was skinny, but soft. Most people compared me to a teddy bear, must to my distaste.

When I came downstairs, I was all my younger siblings loading the wagons with product, lead and organised by my grandmother.

"You look beautiful, Applepip" Cowbell cooed in her five-year-old voice.

"You look adorable yourself" I laughed, picking her up then spinning her around.

"It's all loaded, dear" my Grandmother called.

"Well I'd best be off them" I said, taking the handle of the lead-wagon.

…

I set up my stand mid-way up the mountain. My set took up two tables, the farm stuff had a red and white checked cloth and the potions used a blue swirled one. Barrels of product scattered around my area as well.

There was a woman who set up a stand near me who had all exotic and mysterious animals. She called herself Fortuna and even let me have a peek at the unicorn she was unveiling that night, in exchange for a few sleeping potions of course.

Unfortunately, I couldn't see Fortuna's show because an Ent – yes, a real life Ent – crushed one of her cages when she thought she saw Legolas – which even I know would be impossible, considering he left Middle-Earth years ago.

Throughout the night, I made hundreds – no thousands – of Middlés! I also met incredibly interesting groups of people.

The first group I met was one with two girls: an Elven wizard with beautiful, flowing golden hair called Ocean and a half dwarf half woman girl with an amazing body called Abs.

The second group I met had a hot guy who was also an Elven wizard with amazing amber eyes like on the traffic lights called Dusk. In his group, there were also three girls: another half hobbit called Bella Goose, a hobbit dwarf called Hai Lowe who barely made it over the table and a full blooded human called Rachel. This group was kind of emo looking and had a band. I managed to get Dusk's number luckily.

The third group I met was THE Sebastian Scorpia and this creepy skinny monster silently following him. He had a sexy French accent (because they speak French in Gondor) and spoke English really well. But surprisingly, he wasn't as hot as Dusk. I was thinking about those gorgeous fiery eyes all night…

At midnight, I loud bell rang out, signalling the fireworks were about to start. The mountain shook vigorously from the thousands of footsteps running up the mountain slopes to see the mighty Gandalf. No one can believe that he actually returned to Middle-Earth. No one believed that it was even possible, but apparently magic and science combined can make wonderful and unexplainable things happen.

The red Southern lights starting twisting and turning in the sky, like a silken ribbon caught in the wind. The stars twinkled brighter than I had ever seen before. The first firework was set off: it was a golden dragon which circled the mountain, swooping down the crowd and breathing glittering orange 'fire' before exploding in a spectacular array of lights.

A bright silver beam suddenly shot up into the sky… that wasn't a firework, what was it?

Everything began to stretch in the most painful feeling imaginable. The creams of pure pain were overwhelming to point that I almost melted.

Suddenly, the world crunched back on itself. In the sky, lay a large, menacing silver crack, a gaping hole in our universe and time.


	5. Ocean Depth (Sugar, Sugar)

**Chapter 5: Ocean Depth (Sugar, Sugar)**

AUTHORS NOTE: Sorry for the lack of updates; Christmas threw me off a bit…sorry! Anyways, I'll try to get back on schedule and start bringing out new chapters every week!

An upside-down valley cracks creakingly in the opulent, shuddering silky slick sky – Evenescense pours achingly forth pulsating rhythmically in time with my own agonised, stuttering heartbeats – hang on! I'm not an emo! I'm prep. How could I be – Sam, don't be so harsh on smeagull – Huh? That was weird!

"Dayum! Quick" said Abs, quickly striking a provocative pose.

"Take my picture, Oshe!" She begged because I am an amazing photography.

Suddenly, a tiny dot emerged in the piercing light of the tear in reality. The dot fell achingly slowly at first, but then fell with the force of 1000 oliphants. The sky almost set aflame with the speed the thingy falling.

A loud voice screamed in what seemed like pain, "Matter Frodoe"…

The screams of the mountain shushed from shock.

"Hang on" The voice bellowed again in a desperate voice"

Every pale face on the mountain drew their face away from the deadly eerie evilly black sky as a booming and resonating thud hit the terra-formed mountain. After a brief pause, stampeded of people rushed towards the after a brief pause, stampedes of people rushed towards the site where a huge crater was moulded like moonsand in the slope.

There in a lay a pale, pitiful figure, no taller than Oceans' narrow 6" waist, curled in on itself in a fatal position, like a delicate china doll dropped from the loving caress of a small child. It's skin shone like back-lit alabaster, causing the cerulean light, indigo orbs in his delicate, fairer than most face to stand out as they gently fluttered shut into what could be an eternal slumber…., A SINGLE glistening scarlet diamond glided softly from the iridescent corner of his full pink lips, glistening crimson softly in the soft starlight. His thick noir eyelashes (he really needs to borrow my eyelash brush) brush his icy white cheeks in a pained contort. Thick dark eyebrows meeting a curling fringe of hair, dark as expensive leather sofa in my house. He was wearing old-fashioned clothes. Faded reds of blood and fabric splattered the body of the surprising hot child-like figure (But I'm no pedo, that would be gross), slumped in a cocoon of dirty dirt. His limbs tangled in a broken knot like me rubble of a porcelain Rohanian statue of Adonis. His clothes, though worn, wet and wripped, were clearly of Hobbittown make (I am an expert when it comes to Third age textiles). An orange button hung loosely from the lapel of his cloat and the figure slowly rose majestically, like a swan rising from the water of a still lake in the midst of summer. His cyan eyes outstripped the blue of the lake.

Swaging like a golden leaf caught in an autumn breeze, the [placeholder] surveyed the area in an expression of pure bewilderness.

The [placeholder]'s glistening sapphire eyes elegantly rolled into the back of his skull and gentle, he collapsed into a pile of crumpled clothes and hard, cold mud.

There was an immense, incredible flash of blinding light and a deafening boom and an agonised scream tore from the throats of the pale-faced spectators. Ocean's high, wind chime voice into a Morgan Freeman-esque grunt. My pants suddenly ripped as a large boy-thingy grew there. One now manly chocolate eyebrow rose in (almost) shock (but not proper shock, because I'm really manly now). I gave a rough cough and my manly vocal chords emitted a sexy growl. I thought "wow! I would really do be right now!"…But maybe **you** can! *winks*...

Geddit's squealed higher than his normal squeal and next to Dumbledore's boobs rested another pair or even bigger ones.

Sebastian's face had transformed from its normally Godly Ruggedness into a delicate haired maiden. Everyone stopped to gasp wondrously at her/his almost-new beauty. Then, they all notice me and start staring. I say "What?" in my sexy Morgan Freeman voice and they all pass out because of my hotness.

Rocketing down from the sky, another figure dove down after the first, screaming a loud, noir scream that light up the night.

"I'm coming, Master Frodoe!" It screamed.

"Mee too!" Exclaimed Geddit, wiping his hands on his trousers.

Like the first, this figure too formed a smoking crater after it landed.

Without taking time to recover, another tiny muscular figure came bummding out of the hole.

"Just like me and Dumbledore last night!" Geddit cheered with an elated expression.

From the second steaming crater rose another diminutive of a figure. Its handsome face was twisted in an expression of agonised grief, so strong that the people around, including my now manly heart, was wrenched in grief. It's normally twinkling amber honey eyes were now the paned colour of crystal bears.

2 identical rivers of horror flowed freely over his wide cheekbones, collecting at the corners of his thin-lipped grimace.

His face, despite the terror for its mate, was undeniably handsome – he had bedroom eyes, his nose was long and straight button nose and his jaw was strong and square. He had artfully thick eyebrows, crunched together in an irrevocably noir expression.

He body was well fit innit, brav blad!

His muscles ripple tautly as he sprints in his toned body towards his fallen comrade. He bends low and scoops the pruned figure into his lap gently, strong arms protecting him. Suddenly, the [placeholder 1]'s eyes fluttered open to reveal his previously mentioned sapphirical eyes, and he whispered hoarsely, straining his throat.

In the tent, Frodoe laid catacomb on the bench, being operated on the sterile green tent. The doctor's prefect brown brown brow was scowling in concentration.

The machines beeped and puffed around the tiny body lying. Her hair lay in alluring dark chocolate curls around her. The other, muscular figure lay with his exhausted head in the soft, shiny hair. His coarse grimy hand held her miniscule delicate white one in a soft grasp. His tears flooded the bed and stained it with the sweat and dirt of hope.

I made my way from the tent, leaving Same and a now female Frodoe and the doctor alone.

I stared at the blood-stained ground beneath me, not looking as I collided with another person.

Sebastian embraced me, sobbing exasperated tears or guilt. I asked him (her?) what was wrong.

His soft hands took a hold of my broad shoulders and her toned tan arms gently pushed me away. She wore a simple black t-shirt and jeans. Covering all of her hair was a grey beanie.

Her eyes were the red of my dress (ewww, I'm now a guy and wearing a dress. NOT hot!" and her elf-magic tears flowed down across my back, as the tears followed her arms.

"I-It was me! I caused all of this, Ocean!" He screams, the weight finally going off her chest.

I immediately took her into my long and strong arms, comforting her into the night, not daring to ask how she caused this.


	6. Edge of Dusk (Edge of Night)

_**Chapter 6: Edge of Dusk (Edge of Night)**_

We kissed passionately under the trunk of the mighty oak. A light heavy pressure rolled on and off my body. We two souls fornicated in a soft manly fashion under the hot summer sun.

He collapsed on top of me. His sweat drenched hair was the fiery colour of my passion. We breathed in perfection unison. Cool air cascaded through our nostrils and into our heavy lungs.

"Sooo…" I whispered in my sexy seductive Susan Boil voice.

"Yes?" He breathed back; sounding almost like the highly classed comedian Fred (he had an Irish accent).

I paused, taking in this perfect moment. The grass around us was lush and vibrant, its faint sweet scent dancing throughout the air. Small insects were entwined in my long silky noir waves of hair. They nested in the layers and chirped a cheerful song in choir.

"What's your name, Bumble Bee?" I asked sensually.

His cheeks flushed with pink roses.

"Applepip" He blurted out. Absolutely Aderpable

"I'm Oak!" bellowed the tree behind us. I gazed up in wonder towards the source of the sound.

"Guys, guys! Can you believe it?" She cried ecstatically

Applepip and I exchanged puzzled expressions.

"The really really really REALLY hotastic Legolas who makes me legless – or should I say rootless – with fair tanned skin that has no blemishes in sight has returned to Middle Earth on his private company jet"

Applepip put his hand gently on my shoulder.

"Uh…Dusk" He inquired sheepishly. "Can we go to the mountain to look at the hole, please? I want to have a look in daylight".

I nodded and took his hand. We skipped into the sunset for a while, but then I got depressed again so I started to drag me feet.

We stood on the edge of the vast and gaping crater of Mount Doom. In the midst of the abyss that lay within was hot and sticky lava, churning with the fury of the destroyed ring of power. It almost seemed to be spitting "Damn you, Frodoe" at the walls. I gulped and turned my attention to Applepip.

"Dusk, look!" He squealed, pointing to the sharp gash in the sky.

A giant blue alicorn was diving for the slope, clinging onto her back for dear life was two, sandy haired midgets.

"Why it's Rainbow Fern" Applepip exclaimed.

I raised an eyebrow. He knows this creature?

The majestic mare planted her hooves firmly on the rocky mountain and whipped her forest green mane back, hitting one of the short arses in the face.

"Ow!" It exclaimed.

"Pippine, you're such a child" One laughed.

"Hey, I'm only 29!" The other argued.

The alicorn – Rainbow Fern – shook her head and smiled, then turned to Applepip.

"My, my my… What's happened here then?" She asked, scanning the boy.

Applepip shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, "Nobody knows. Everyone just swapped genders last night all at once!"

One of the pint sizes eyes widened with shock – the young one. He nudged the other one and they stared intently at each other. Then, they both burst into laughter.

Rainbow swiftly lifted her back hooves and propelled them vigorously at the two; each had a hoof hitting them abruptly in the stomach, sending them both cartwheeling through the cool mountain air.

"Frodoe is in a critical condition and you're laughing at the fact that he is now a girl!" She snapped at them, knocking the two over once more with her tail. "Now introduce yourselves!" She ordered.

Dusting the dirt off this shirt, one stepped forward. He cleared his throat and bowed. He had shoulder length curly hair which was the colour of the perfect clean sand on a Midsummers day. His chocolate honey skin was pulled tightly over his supa fit body, without a single imperfection or wrinkle. His nose was long and straight and his lips were youthfully plump and light, pulled wide with laughter and joy across his face. He wore a long green velvet coat which went down to his knees and matched it with a loose cream shirt and soft brown breeches. On his large and fluffy feet he wore no shoes…he was a hobbit.

"Peregrine Tooke, at your service my fair lady" he said as he bowed low to the ground.

"Dusk Moonlightio" I replied depressedly.

"Applepip Conka" My companion piped up.

The other hobbit stepped forward and bowed in the same way as the other one. This one was older than the first. His hair was darker; more a colour of pine than sand, but it was equally curly and long, hanging in tangled tassels as he bowed to us. He looked very similar to the first, almost as if he were an older cousin. However, his mouth was thinner and darker, frowning slightly due to months of anguish. His skin looked dryer and contained a few creases, but he was still blatantly rather young. He wore no coat, rather a worn teal cloak on top of a faded butter yellow waistcoat with an off-white shirt underneath that flowed around his body as though it was meant to fit a larger hobbit. He wore cream breeches rather than brown ones that hung loosely off him.

"Meriadoce Brandybucke, your humble servant" He spoke.

We again introduced ourselves.

Rainbow Fern then spoke with an impatient tone, "Come on, the hospital won't stay open forever!"

"Why don't you two come along" Pippine cried enthusiastically.

We all clambered onto the Alicorn's strong back. I tightly wound by hands around Rainbow Fern's neck. Applepip clutched at my shirt with Merrye and Pippine behind her.

The alicorn threw her head back and galloped, picking up speed. We on her back bounced and held on for dear life, then, unexpectedly, Rainbow kicked the ground away with her powerful hooves, taking into the sky and spreading her wide and mighty winds. The sharp wind stung at my face, delicately breezing through my long hair. It twirled in the wind like a plastic bag, not even touching Applepip's soft face.

Merrye and Pippine staggered through the winding hallways of the hospital. A sickly yellow light shone from the hundreds of hanging lights. The smell of death filled the air and charged into our hearts, making me giggle.

Then we stopped in our tracks before the dark red door, it was slightly ajar and whispering voices echoed from behind it.

I reached forward and touched the door slightly with my delicate sugar coloured hand. I pushed the door forward then crept in. Inside the small hospital room was four people: A dark haired hobbit lying in the bed, her midday sky blue eyes wide and vibrant; another, muscular hobbit sat on a stood neck to her bed, one of his large tanned hands resting on top of one of hers, the other rested lightly on the side of her pale, delicate face; A tall blonde guy leaned on the wall at the corner of the room, chatting quietly with a Morgan Freeman voice to a girl sitting on an armchair whose hair was all tucked into a stylish beanie. As soon as our party entered, they all turned and started intently at us.

"Merrye! Pippine!" The hobbit in the bed erupted with glee.

"Frodoe?!" They gasped, bounding up and onto the bed.

There were, however, other, strange people in the small hospital room. Leaning against the wall was a towering, toned girl whose hair was all hidden away by a noir beanie hat. She wore clothes that hung loosely off her joints and flowed out onto the tiled floor. The girl looked uncomfortable and kept shifting her wieight, tugging on the clothes in an attempt to keep them up.

Must have not have gotten the chance to change clothes once he became a she I thought.

Sitting on another visiting chair was an extremely tall boy. He had stylish golden hair that shone with the light of a million scented candles. His bronze skin glowed like that of a God's under the harsh light. His attire was laughable: he wore a tight red dress that clearly was preventing him from breathing.

In the corner, I noted, was a matching pair of high heels.

The boy in the dress cleared his throat.

"Mr Bagginse – err, Miss Bagginse, I would like to ask you a few questions. It's for my schools paper you see."

She gave the boy a puzzled expression but nodded.

"Go on then, Mr…?"

"Oh, sorry! My name is Ocean Dove Delphina Destiny Angelo. So for starters, Where were you before you fell?"

"Ummm, let's see. I was –"

"I'm sorry Mr Angelo, but Madame Frodoe is like super weak and tired, so there is no time for these questions; she needs her rest" Said the kickstand who was holding her hand.

"Oh, Same, I'm fine. Never better!" Assured Frodoe

"I can see that you're not like totally fine, Frodoe! Your eyes have never been so weary – not even after a night of the heavy drinking of ales have you looked like this!" Snapped Same.

Frodoe went to sit up in her bed to prove she was fine, but Same placed a firm hand on her chest and pushed her down. His face went bright red when he realised that he had touched Frodoe's boobs.

"Oh forgive me, I did not mean to at all, Miss Frodoe! I'm just not used to you being… a women!"

Before Frodoe had time to reply, five doctors heavily armed with guns barged into the room and shoved me to the ground. I looked up with blured eyes to see the girl in the black beanie being grabbed then dragged out of the room, kicking and screaming. She must have been very strong, because the men were clearly struggling. The blond man – Ocean went screaming after them like a bullet shot out of a kettle, but an army of nurses grabbed him and held him in restraint .

What they were about to do to the girl with the nori beanie would not be pleasant.

TUNE IN NEXT TIME, FOLKS

"ROAR!"


	7. Seb World (Mad World)

_**Chapter 7: Seb World… (Mad World)**_

**AUTHORS NOTE: Some of the Dialogue in this chapter is in French, so you may need to use Google Translate. Sorry! *Huggles you all***

I awoke to a piercing harsh light.

Squinting with my mauve eyes, I evaluated the room in which I lay. Beneath me was a stone white slab. A foam cotton pillow was neatly placed at one end.

The light came from every direction in the room: each wall, the floor and ceiling was illuminated, glowing with a stale white light. The bed on which I had laid was the only piece of furniture found.

Delicately, I rose like an angel from the cold coffin like an angel from the cold coffin like a hotter Jesus Christ. I could see the faint outline of a door. I ran my fingers along the hard, solid edge. The texture of the Blanc wall became softer – still indestructible by normal standards - but underneath was something important, not only solid steel.

Although my strength was now limited due to my female body, I still had tremendous power, which I used to kick the sturdy door open.

Suddenly, the room I stood in was a red pulsating colour.

My skull rung in agony as a loud siren boomed throughout the facility. A strong and calloused hand grabbed both of my ankles then pulled me with a nearly force.

Noir, fiery flames engulfed my weary mind. The icy steel tiles cracked and collapsed. Then I fell. For a brief moment, the world looked like Minecraft when you fall into the void…

"Everything is hooked up sir" A shrill, authoritative female voice rang.

Groaning I slowly raised my eyelids. The room around me was pitch black with a stinging white light. There were numerous people throughout the room. I could only see where they were because the light reflected off their goggles.

They must have noticed that I was awake.

Alors, Sebastian ..."The leader called. Her voice had a familiar purr to it.

"Comment savez-vous qui je suis?" I screamed.

"Pourquoi, j'ai été avec vous toute votre vie ... "She laughed.

That cackle, I've heard it before! But from where?

I made an inquisitive noise like Scooby Doo's. I could hear the light clacking of high heels pacing.

"Vous voyez, mon amour." She went on. I KNEW!

"Vous êtes celui qui a causé tout cela! Votre chevelure argentée magique a tout fait: elle s'est divisée réalité, causé le passé et le présent d'entrer en collision et a échangé des sexes de tout le monde!"

She stepped into the light. She had I face I recognised. She was…

Butler Monshar was a woman! You could clearly see that she couldn't handle being female, because her face was completely devoid of makeup and her hair was not styled at all. As I suspected, she was a pretty ugly woman with gross thick eyebrows.

I struggled in the chair to fight. That perv!

She abruptly turned around.

"Commencer le processus!" She cried, pulling off her scarf and sharply lifting her stick-thin arms.

A pair of gloved hands invaded my body and tugged at my intestines. I rode the pain like a wave, it splashed into my naked body and soaked into my pores, making me scream in agony and anguish and angus burgers which are yummy.

My lilac eyes glided into my head. My agape mouth fell limp and the agonised screams stopped. My mind was blank

Though I was unconscious I could still see the room in a harsh blur. I felt nothing.

A guardian angle appeared before me. Her glistening, perfect blonde hair was just like Princess Celestia's, but more epic and elegant and exquisitely. Her fine features took away my breath as they overwhelmed me. Her eyes had the power and unrelenting force of a Dragonborn in the ocean. The gentle slope of her nose was like an ornamental oriental pagoda. Her lips … her PERFECT lips were like two teddy bears stuffed with fluff. Silken bronze skin covered her bones (yes, she was that skinny), Shimmering hair cascaded down her back and seemed to be stuck in an eternal, non-existent breeze. Her breasts looked as if two large beach balls had been placed in her chest, the same with her butt (but with smaller beach balls, maybe two basket balls for her butt). I found myself lost in my see blue eyes.

"Please get me out of this nightmare!" I begged to her.

Crystal tears welled up in her eyes. She shook her head.

"That is beyond my power".

Then it struck me.

"You changed yourself back into a girl! You can fix all of this and save us all. They will then free me and this torture!" I cried in realisation and delight.

She sighed then shook her head.

"That is but impossible my love" She lamented. " Although I can enter the unconscious mind at a whim, I cannot change what has been carved into a stone by the ocean"

"Please, Ocean, my supa hot girlfriend." I whispered beggingly.

My eyes shot open with the speed of a Nimbus 2000.

"Pas tout à fait encore, trololololo" Monshar taunted, dancing around the room with glee.

"MAINTENANT, POUR TERMINER LE TEST" She sang in a crude, shrill voice.

My mind became air as my smexy body shuddered. Floating at terminal velocity, I surveyed the room below: about 50 people stood in small ant like clusters around beeping machines. Suddenly, every pain receptor in my body set aflame and my body started writhing wraithingly from the pain… the sweet, sweet pain. I groaned as I reacted to the sensation that ravished my body. Ow, it like, seriously hurt.

I collapsed with a deafening thud onto the ground. I screamed as the anguish wreaked havoc upon my body and mind. A whirlwind over powered my senses as my heart thudded like an elephant playing the drums. A deep, heavy pressure ran like a stampede over my nerves. I cried out for someone to free me from the torture. Please! Just please make this stop! I cried out to you the reader. But, just like the _horrible_ person that you are, you didn't help. I writhed along the ground like an electrocuted snake. I tried to grasp at various sharp objects to ease my suffering… too end my life, but every time I reached out to take hold of something, my hand just went straight through the table, my body still convulsing from the agony. A wave of relief washed over my body in a bask of pure white light. I heard wonderful, calming, serene music playing softly.

I was deading.

White light faded into view. A soft chocolate voice beckoned me forwards. Morgan Freeman?

Indeed it was him. "Ahh, Sebastian. I've been waiting for you. Join me in Paradise why dontcha!"

He held out his hand and I took it. We stepped into the purity.

"Welcome to the Jungle" He sang with his heavenly voice.

Tarr!


End file.
